By Right of Confidence
by Dark Seraphim
Summary: Two very different men have some things in common after all. Very unusual pairing. Yaoi.
1. A chance

Notes: As soon as I thought of "Summoning Courage", I thought of what it would be like if Nooj were to go after "The Summoner" instead of Baralai. This is the result. I think this is the crackpot pairing of the year, but it's interesting to me at the same time since the two men are almost entirely different and yet have some things in common. Enjoy.

* * *

When Nooj was a child, one of his first lessons was that if you wanted something, you simply went after it. You grabbed it, you took it, and you did whatever you pleased with it. He never forgot that lesson, even though his primary desire was death. He never intended to forget it either, especially when the something was a someone today. Now, a someone was a little different than a something. You have to consider personality, feelings, thoughts and reactions. Other than that, a someone was little different than a something. You wanted someone, you took inititave, but you did it on a tightrope. Not too confident, but not without it. Not too aggressive, but far from passive. Even though the left side of his body was Machina, he knew that he would have no problem maintaining his balance with a someone he intended to go after.

That someone was a Summoner. A soft-spoken, but sharp tongued one as he had no problem tearing apart Nooj's fellow Crimson Squad candidates whenever they hit on him. Not a single one of them had balance. Some fell right off the tightrope, others were pushed off by the red haired Summoner, while others managed to straddle the line just for a little bit before they simply jumped off. Some, however, never even had a chance to get on a tightrope. Case in point: the man who currently swaggered over to the Summoner and hovered near him for awhile. As soon as Nooj saw that, he knew that the burly, dark haired man had zero chance to do much of anything. He was part of Group 6 among the Crimson Squad candidates. They were known to be strong, but quite foolish. Nooj had no doubt that he would get to see just why Group 6 members earned the reputation they had. The Summoner, sensing the man's presence, slowly turned around and remained still, clearly waiting for the right moment to strike.

"Are you with someone?" The man asked and Nooj inwardly groaned as he had witness this about a thousand times everywhere else. Stupidity was universal.

"No," was the Summoner's only reply. Nooj knew that wasn't true as he had seen the Summoner with two Guardians, a dark skinned man and a child before the latter two went to their room. This made things interesting to him as he leaned forward, not wanting to miss a thing.

"Are you looking for some company?" The man asked, moving towards the empty stool.

The Summoner leaned back with a smile as bright as day, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, if you have any suggestions other than yourself, send them on by."

/He could suggest me, but he won't/. Nooj thought, helplessly grinning. /Not that I need anyone to suggest me/.

"I'm going to go out now," the man finally said after a long pause.

"You do that," was the Summoner's terse reply. When the man walked off, the Summoner turned back to the bar. Nooj wanted to get up and dance. He wished more people were like the Summoner. That way, there'd be less assholes who seemed to plague Spira.

"Oh man!" Gippal exclaimed before knocking back his clear, strong liquor know as "Yazu". "That was cold! Loved it!" He sat next to Baralai, who sat across from Nooj. Baralai buried his smile in his collar. He didn't touch his water. He was the only one at the table that didn't have an alcoholic drink. In fact, Nooj was willing to bet that he was the only one in all of the Mi'ihen travel agency that didn't.

"My kind of guy," Paine replied. She had a strawberry daiquiri in her gloved hands and mixed the whipped cream with a straw.

"Mine too," Nooj answered as he took a sip of red wine. His three friends looked incredulously at him.

"Excuse me? Your kind of guy?" Baralai blinked about a dozen times.

"Yes, mine," Nooj looked at the Summoner, who still had his back turned. "He's strong."

"That's obvious," Paine interjected. "You have to strong to be a Summoner."

"That's not quite what I meant. I mean that he's not afraid of getting rid of creeps. If you're an ass, he sees no reason to be polite." When Baralai flashed Nooj an evil grin, he added with a grin of his own, "I'm not a creep Baralai, so don't get any ideas."

Baralai chuckled, "I don't think I could be like him though. I mean, if someone were to threaten me, I'd fight back, but I wouldn't know how to deal with people like the Summoner just dealt with."

"Just say no," Paine shrugged.

Gippal put his arm around Baralai, "And say yes to me!"

"I thought I did that already," Baralai smooched his best friend's cheek.

"Knock it off, brats!" Nooj snapped in a playful manner. Paine only rolled her eyes.

"Yea, that'll happen," she said.

"So, how come you keep staring at the Summoner?" Gippal inquired. "You think you have a chance with him?"

"Yes."

"PFFFFFFZZZZTTTHHH!"

The spray from the newly spat out drinks nearly blinded Nooj. Baralai looked as if Nooj had gone into a Temple and took a dump on one of the Fayths. Paine and Gippal couldn't help but shake their heads while trying not to laugh.

"In case you haven't noticed, Noojster, half your body is Machina," Gippal managed to respond after nearly choking on the Yazu.

"So?"

"So?" Baralai echoed. "Nooj, if he is a Summoner, then he is sure to be a devout Yevonite."

"So?"

"So, he'll probably detach your Machina limbs and shove them up your ass," Paine answered.

Nooj only shrugged, "He wouldn't do that."

"Oh, really? How would you know?" Gippal asked.

"It's all about maintaining balance," Nooj responded. Baralai raised his eyebrows. He knew exactly what Nooj was talking about.

"Indeed," Baralai agreed, "but, you're not dealing with an average Spiran. In fact, I don't think you're dealing with an average Summoner."

"He's human, isn't he?" Nooj argued. "Just because he's a Summoner, doesn't mean he's above everyone else."

"The rest of Spira disagrees," Baralai shook his head.

"I don't care," Nooj shrugged, looking back at the Summoner. He finally noticed that the Summoner was wearing blue and white robes. "All I have to do is tread carefully, then grab him and take him."

"Would that be before or after he chars you with an Aeon?" Paine grinned.

"He's not going to char me with a Aeon," Nooj answered simply.

"Oh, really?" Paine leaned forward, her face turning red from trying to hold back even more laughter. "What makes you so sure?"

"For him to react that way, I'd have to be a real threat. He hasn't charred anyone yet, and I seriously doubt I'd be the first."

"You're sort of missing the point though, Noojster," the younger Al Bhed glanced over to the Summoner. "I think he's rejected everyone here because they're either Crusaders or Crimson Squad candidates. No way the Summoner would find that attractive. He'd rather have a Yevonite."

"I don't think even a Yevonite would be good enough for him," Baralai sighed, looking at the Summoner. Nooj noticed longing in his dark eyes, but it only lasted for a second because Gippal grinned at him and he grinned back. "You'd need to be a Maester..."

"Or a fellow Summoner," Paine nodded.

"Maybe a Captain..."

All of them feel silent once Nooj mentioned that. Just a couple days ago, they were on a ship discussing their dreams of having an Airship of their own. Paine would be the pilot, Baralai would be the Navigator, Gippal would the engineer and Nooj himself would be Captain. So, where would the Summoner fit? Nooj found himself balling his fists. He knew damned well where the Summoner would fit. In a casket, or one of the Fayths all over Spira. There'd be a statue erected of him and he would become "High Summoner." Such a title meant nothing to Nooj because the Summoner granted that title was always dead, so what good would it do? It made Nooj wonder if the real reason for all the rejections was the realization that everything has now lost meaning since the Summoner would die. Before the three who sat with him, Nooj had no one and saw no point in being with anyone since he only intended to die. He earned two nicknames for that, but neither one guaranteed his death. But, the Summoner? He was sure to die. As far as Nooj was concerned, it's what linked them.

"Captain?" Gippal echoed before shaking his head. "No, still not good enough."

"We have something in common. How about that?"

When Baralai gasped, "Nooj!" No one was surprised. The white haired youth went on to say, "I don't want either of you to die, but at least his death is for Spira. Yours would be for yourself without any regard for your friends!"

"And the Summoner? Does he have regard for his friends? What about his Guardians? The dark skinned one must either be a friend or a brother. The little one is either his youngest brother or his child."

Baralai quickly countered, "As Guardians, they know what will happen to him, and if they didn't accept it, they would not have been Guardians."

"Sure, that works for the older one, but the younger? You make it sound like he has a choice."

That statement hung in air like a flying fiend. Gippal and Paine lowered their heads, but Baralai pressed his full lips together until his mouth looked like a straight line. Nooj glanced back at the Summoner. He knew that there was no way the child knew the implications of the Pilgrimage. Even if he didn't know the Summoner, he knew that he was an adult, and like most adults, they would lie to children thinking that a favor was done. Nooj would have loved to be a fly on the wall of the Zanarkand Fayth just to see the boy's reaction once he found out what had to be done in order to defeat Sin. That was, of course, assuming the Summoner ever made it that far. As soon as Nooj pictured the bleak mountains of Gagazet, he shut his eyes.

"Are you okay, Nooj?"

He opened his eyes to see concern in Baralai's. He nodded and glanced one more time at the Summoner. Nooj knew what Summoners were supposed to do. He understood that they would die to save the world for a little while. All they were doing was perpetrating the same thing for one thousand years. They didn't die honorably. They died for a religion that sacrificed them to appease a god that no one should be worshipping. What sort of beast would bring a monster into the world to kill and maim others? His own life was ruined. Countless lives, including that of his friends, were ruined in some way. What of the Summoner? Was his life as ruined as the others? Did he seek death because of it? What of his Guardians? Did the Summoner consider them? Nooj knew that he would never be able to find out unless he made his move now.

Taking one last gulp of wine, Nooj grabbed his cane and stood up. His left hip hurt, but he grit his teeth. Pain was nothing new to him.

"You're going to go after him?" Gippal asked, incredulous.

"Of course."

Paine smiled at Nooj, her eyes a mixture of awe and approval, "Good luck."

"Please be careful, Nooj," Baralai said, also smiling.

"You don't have to worry. The worst thing he could do is kill me," Nooj replied, helplessly returning the smiles.

The walk over the empty stool was the easiest in the world. If anyone stared at him and hoped that the Summoner would knock him into the middle of next week, he neither knew nor cared. All he knew was that the Summoner would be his for the taking, at least for a little while. Without concern for what might happen, Nooj sat sideways on the stool, ignoring everyone but the Summoner. He could see that the other man quickly tensed, his hands flat out on the bar. That didn't concern Nooj. The Summoner wasn't going anywhere. Nooj knew that before he claimed the space as his own.

Up close, Nooj could see the irritation all over the Summoner's handsome face as his hands became fists, but he simply waited until the Summoner finally turned, a string of vicious words ready to be thrown. Nothing came out. Instead, the Summoner's mouth remained open, his sharp blue eyes wide as his hands fell on his heavily robed lap. He could only manage one whispered word, a title Nooj had been given for his recklessness in battle.

"Deathseeker."


	2. I claim you

_Notes: If you have read both "Summoning Courage" and this fic, I hope you notice the differences in the demeanor of "the Summoner". I felt like the dialogue skipped around a lot, but I guess that happens. If there's any booboos, let me know and I'll fix._

"So you know me?" Nooj asked in a way that was more of a statement than anything. The Summoner noticed because his blue eyes narrowed while he propped his chin against the knuckles of his hand.

"How can I not?" He replied. He scanned Nooj very carefully, like a botanist would look at a mutant plant. Nooj did not waver for a single moment. The Summoner was handsome, with angular features covered by unpreened dark red hair and the robes flattered his fair skin. He could not have been much older than Nooj himself. "My brother Maroda has told me all about you, and I have my resources." The Summoner leaned back with a slight, ironic smile. "You are Nooj the Undying. You seek death and yet death does not seek you." Before Nooj could answer, the Summoner again narrowed his eyes. "What do you want?"

"You."

That single word said quietly carried enough power to force the Summoner to lean forward, his arm resting against the bar, and the drink ignored. The Summoner's raised his eyebrows.

"Really?"

"Really."

The Summoner chuckled quietly, "My, you are bold, but that is how you attained your reputation. People adore you and yet death is not as appealing to them as it is to you."

"Is death appealing to you?" Nooj waved away the bartender. He wanted no one interrupting him. Again, the Summoner's eyes were sharp as they looked carefully over the mechanized parts that replaced Nooj's left arm and leg. Nooj had no doubt that the Machina limbs bothered the other man a great deal, but the Summoner concealed it well.

"Death is a necessity."

Nooj was not surprised the Summoner would say something like that, but he doesn't find that answer satisfactory.

"Would that include those who died because of Sin?"

The Summoner nodded, "Yes, unfortunately. All death is necessary." He turned away to take a sip from his drink.

"Including yours?"

The Summoner took his time to slowly turn around, his eyes fixed in a glare, "Especially mine." He reared back, his breath coming out in slow, deliberate gasps. It's clear to Nooj that the Summoner does not quite know what to do with him. Rejection seemed out of the question, but acceptance wasn't quite the answer either. "You Crusader sorts all think the exact same way. It's ironic, really. Your sort do you best to damn Yevon and his followers and yet your sort do not seem much different, except that the Crusaders follow the wrong path."

"So, my friend was right about you," Nooj answered. "You are a devout Yevonite."

The Summoner's voice cut through the noise addled air like a razor, "Of course I am."

Exactly what Nooj thought. When Baralai mentioned that Isaaru was "sure to be a devout Yevonite", Nooj had already known that such a statement should go without saying. Nooj may have lost two of his limbs, but he never lost his instinct. The very same one that was currently telling him that the Summoner held the tightrope and was about to shake it.

"You, however, are not," the Summoner continued before Nooj could get any word in. Not that he needed to. Anyone with a brain knew Nooj's feelings on religion. All it took was to know who he was, as the Summoner clearly did.

Nooj smiled a tight-lipped smile. "No, I'm not. That's obvious."

"If you intend to start a fight with me--"

"I have not intention of doing that," Nooj interrupted without any urgency or pleading in his voice. "When I told you that I wanted you, a fight was not what I intended." Nooj looked directly into the Summoner's eyes. "If I were to fight you, I would surely lose."

"Yes, you would," the Summoner replied, his finger hovering over the top of the shot glass. "However, I don't believe that you are here because you are truly interested in me."

"I don't care what you believe."

Upon hearing that, the Summoner raised his eyebrows before leaning forward with a newly sharpened glare, "Then I'll tell you what I know. You're here on a challenge. No, no one challenged you. You challenged yourself. You wish to see if a heathen like you can have a true child of Yevon for yourself, and not just any child, but a Summoner. One who is not afraid of anything or anyone."

Nooj helplessly laughed, "You can say that. I've been watching you, and you've rejected every single person that's approached you, and they all deserved it."

The Summoner smiled, but it did not reach his eyes, "And you don't?"

"If you wanted to reject me, you'd have done it as soon as I sat down," Nooj said, putting his cane on the bartable without any worry whatsoever. "You were ready to do it. No one dared sit down beside you. When I did, you were ready to breath fire, but you didn't. Was it because I am the Deathseeker or was it because you knew that I refused to be intimidated by a Summoner?"

With the smile completely gone, the Summoner replied slowly, "The former."

"The former..." Nooj repeated while nodding. "Of course. Were I not the Deathseeker, what would you have done?"

This time, the Summoner smiled again. This time, it reached his eyes, "I would have charred you with an Aeon. Either that, I would have knocked you into the middle of next week." The Summoner leaned back, grabbed the shot glass and took a sip of his drink. "Nobody can 'grab me and take me'. Not even you, Nooj the Undying."

Nooj looked at the Summoner with a helpless sort of admiration in his eyes, "You're strong. That's why I approached you. I like strength."

"Ah," the Summoner chuckled. "I never thought you'd be the sort to be interested in other men."

"I don't care who it is," Nooj replied with a shrug. "You don't seem to either."

"Oh, I care alright," the red head corrected. "I have very high standards."

"I meant in terms of gender."

"In that case, you'd be right," the Summoner said, looking away from Nooj and at his drink. "My standards, however, do not change."

"Neither do mine."

The Summoner looked back at him, "I know you're intelligent. You have courage, you speak your mind without any regard for the consequences, and I know that you question everything. You have the mind of intellect, and the heart of a warrior." His blue eyes softened. Nooj detected pity, but a very small amount of it. "Yet you seem broken. No, you are broken yet you are still strong."

"I'm here, aren't I?" Nooj asked, brushing away the man's statements as thought they were meaningless. Being 'broken' was the last thing Nooj wanted to hear.

"Yet you still seek death," the Summoner quickly retorted. "Given that you will be taking part in Operation Mi'ihen, I have no doubt that you will find what you seek."

Nooj wanted to correct the Summoner. He wanted to say that he's actually a Crimson Squad candidate. Sure, it was pretty much the same as being a Crusader, but the difference was the Crimson Squad functioned as the "elite". Yevon would like to believe that the Candidates functioned as its eyes and ears, but Nooj himself would never do that in a million years and he doubted that his friends would either. Not even Paine, who recorded their missions. However, since the Crimson Squad would be around Operation Mi'ihen, Nooj decided to leave it alone. Instead, he chose to go directly after the Summoner.

"That's ironic coming from you," he said taking a certain satisfaction in watching the Summoner's eyes widen.

"I told you. My death is necessary. You Crusaders just throw your lives away, like you intend to do." The Summoner holds the glass in his gloved hands. "The only difference is that you deliberately want to die in the field of battle, while the rest do not."

"You and I have something in common," Nooj stated and when the Summoner gave him a look that challenged him, Nooj elaborated. "We both seek death. Whatever our intentions are, we both want to die in the field of battle. You may not use any weapons, except your Aeons, but our goals are the same."

The Summoner shook his head, "No, Nooj. I seek death because I know it would save Spira."

"No matter our intent, our goals remain the same," Nooj replied, watching the Summoner's hair in his topknot sway around his head. "You can't deny that."

The Summoner said nothing when he took the final gulp of his drink. He looked at Nooj, his hands folded in his robe. His expression showed no emotion, not even in his piercing blue eyes.

"Yazu, right?" Nooj asked, deciding to change the course of their conversation to something a little lighter than death. They had plenty of time and Nooj intended to use it to the fullest. It worked because the Summoner smiled.

"How is that for irony?" The Summoner answered.

"Why would that be ironic? Yevon doesn't forbid drink."

"It's ironic because no one ever expects a Summoner to drink anything. Most of them don't even go near alcohol. So, there's an assumption that all Summoners are as pure as the white hair on your friend's head." The Summoner looked over at Baralai before putting his glass back on the bar..

"He's taken," Nooj said.

The Summoner looked back at Nooj, "By the Al Bhed, right?"

Nooj smiled. He liked the Summoner and his blue eyes that showed a keen intelligence despite his supposedly devout beliefs in a religion. "Yes, by the Al Bhed."

"Ah, a young, beautiful Yevonite fighter monk with a Al Bhed. Now that is irony. Much like the Crusaders finally deciding to accept help from the Al Bhed and their Machina."

"Yet they're still not allowed to join the Crusaders," Nooj suddenly blurted out and the Summoner suddenly leaned forward with a knowing grin.

"As I thought," the Summoner whispered so only Nooj could hear what he is saying. "You're in the Crimson Squad. The Crusaders, while they admire you, are not comfortable with a warrior whose limbs are made of Machina. Don't worry, I know that the Crimson Squad is meant to be secret. I'll carry it to my grave."

_Your grave_. _Don't you mean the Fayth? Then again, only one Summoner can make it to Zanarkand. The rest either quit or die. _Nooj chose not to speak these particular thoughts. Not yet. Best to wait until he finally had the Summoner firmly in his grasp.

"I have no doubt of that," Nooj replied, trying to settle more on the stool. "Yes, I'm in the Crimson Squad. All the people who tried to grab you are in the Crimson Squad. We are the elite, but we're supposed to serve as spies for the Priests in Bevelle."

The Summoner nodded. "Yes, of course. You expected it, I know you did. How can anyone be surprised, and why should it be a secret?"

"Because the Priests of Yevon don't want the people knowing that they still frown on the Crusaders."

"Hmm.... the Crusaders were absorbed into Yevon, and yet they're still seen as opponents. So, they create a secret unit for the sake of espionage." The Summoner mused .

"Yea, you can say that," Nooj replied. "Yevon likes keeping it secrets."

"Everyone has secrets, even you," the Summoner said, running his fingertips along the now empty glass.

Nooj chose not to respond to that, deciding to ask something that he should have asked to begin with. "So, what's your name?"

The Summoner's fingertips stopped moving, "Isaaru."

Nooj chuckled. Isaaru. He knew that the name meant "Firey Light" and given the Summoner's actions in the past and his demeanor now, Nooj found it rather fitting.

"You don't intend to reject me, do you?" Nooj asked suddenly.

"There's something you want," Isaaru answered slowly, his blue eyes once again scanning Nooj. "I feel uneasy with your Machina Limbs, but I can get over it. I can't reject you with a clear conscience because you stand out."

"So, do you," Nooj interrupted, drawing a smile from Isaaru.

"Only because I'm the only Summoner in a sea of Crusaders, Crimson Squad members, and the Al Bhed. I worry more about the Al Bhed than anyone."

"Oh yea," Nooj nodded. "I heard about what the Al Bhed have been supposedly doing to Summoners."

"Indeed," Isaaru nodded. "They kidnap the Summoners. I didn't want to believe that, but since so many have vanished so quickly, I know that it could not have been fiends."

"Don't worry, Gippal won't do anything to you," Nooj said, hoping that would be enough to reassure the Summoner.

"No, not with you and your friends around. But, without you? What then?"

Nooj shrugged, "You have your Guardians."

"Yes, I do, but clearly that hasn't stopped the Al Bhed," Isaaru answered. "I suppose I shouldn't worry. They can't capture everyone."

"But, they can sure as hell try," Nooj stated. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you."

Isaaru raised his eyebrows, "You really think you have me, don't you?"

"You haven't rejected me yet, and I don't think you will," Nooj could feel his left hip start to throb, so he grabbed his cane and stood up. Now closer to Isaaru, he continued. "There is something I want. I told you that I want you, and I intend to take you. I claimed the space next to you and I took it as easily as something that already is mine. I claim you. By right of confidence, I claim you, even if it is only for one night."

Isaaru also stood, his ocean colored robes almost entirely covering his body. He looked into Nooj's eyes and did not waver.

"You say you claim me, but I know you," his voice was quiet, but filled with a certainty that even Nooj couldn't challenge. "I know your sort. I could have had dozens just like you, but not one of them are you. They only hoped to get into my robes, to brag to their friends about how they managed to bed a Summoner and one who values the teachings of Yevon. I have pushed all of them aside. Yet, I cannot do that to you."

"I knew you wouldn't," Nooj answered. "My friends thought I never stood a chance, but I have one now."

"Yes," Isaaru smiled. "You do, but I know that your intent is not to bed me. It is to challenge me."

"So you finally figured it out? I thought you'd be faster on the uptake."

"I had always suspected it. Your reputation precedes you," Isaaru looked slightly upward. "When I saw who your were, I was shocked. I wondered why you would even bother, but it did not take me long to figure it out. Yes, I am indeed a devout Yevonite. Yes, I have turned away everyone here except for you. Yes, your Machina limbs make me feel disconcerted." He took one step forward. Nooj's eyes remain fixated on his. Neither of them waver as Isaaru spoke once more.

"Yes, I accept your challenge."

"Just as I thought," Nooj replied. "I knew you would never back down. You never seemed the sort."

At first, Isaaru did not answer. Instead, he looked around the bar at the patrons running their mouths. Neither men had any doubt that some of the conversations were about the two of them. When Isaaru looked at Nooj's friends, who were also talking, he looked back at him, his deep ocean colored eyes almost sparkling with anticipation.

"Deathseeker, step outside."


	3. Before the Sunset

_Notes: Here's Chapter 3. At first, I wasn't too satisfied with it, but when I edited it a little, I felt a little more okay with it. Hopefully, everything makes sense. I've grown from dismissing this as a "crackpot pairing" to one that I enjoy doing. It may not ever be my FFX-2 yaoi OTP, but it's very interesting. Enjoy!_

Nooj did precisely what Isaaru said. He didn't hesitate, not even for a single moment. Since his Machina induced limp made him slower, he lagged behind, but he hardly looked like a puppy following a bigger dog. If anything, he looked like someone who would go to the ends of the world to go after someone.

"Score!" Gippal shouted once Nooj passed by his table. The only thing that kept Nooj from wanting to vanish was his meeting with Isaaru.

The Summoner froze right in front of the door. He looked over his shoulder at the young Al Bhed with widened blue eyes. Baralai held his head in his hands, and Paine just shook her head at Gippal. The rest of the patrons were watching too and some of them were not happy, but did not dare say anything.

"Not quite," Nooj finally answered with a small smile. He looked back at Isaaru, who was also smiling. Before his friends could say anything more, he walked towards Isaaru, who went ahead and opened the door.

Outside, the sun created a variety of oranges and reds as it approached the horizon. Nooj had forgotten that, but such a thing was never a concern of him. Pretty skies were more for people like Baralai, and it seemed like it was for Isaaru too because the Summoner was already at the Mi'ihen cliff. He was motionless, like the sun had somehow hypnotized him, rendering him paralyzed while the wind managed to pick up the outer layer of his robes. Isaaru's topknot also swayed in the wind and Nooj knew that if his hair were down, it would have spread all over his face. Nooj's own ponytail moved towards the wind, but that was no concern of his as he limped towards Isaaru, but then stopped.

Nooj suddenly realized that Isaaru looked almost perfect against the reddened sun as the clouds embraced him and the gilded water below cried out his name. "Fiery Light". One that will soon be snuffed out by the very harsh wind of the Final Aeon.

"You'll never see the Mi'ihen sun again," Nooj stated. He didn't have to ask. He knew.

Isaaru did not turn around, but he spoke, "No, I will not."

Baralai would have found that sad, but that was Baralai. Nooj only considered it something that was just a fact. Isaaru was a Summoners and Summoners died. They looked at things as if they would never see them again. Except, it was true. Nooj knew that.

"So, you don't intend to come back here."

"Do you?" Isaaru quickly countered, his body shadowed by the remaining light.

"No."

"We have that much in common," Isaaru said before falling silent.

Nooj slowly, but surely moved forward until he was beside the Summoner, "Why is the sunset so important to people?"

"Because it's beautiful," came Isaaru's reply, which Nooj easily predicted. "Why do you take it for granted?"

Nooj did not predict that, but he answered swiftly. "I don't take it for granted. It just never was a concern of mine. It's there. It happens when the planet rotates. It's pretty, but all it means is that it would soon be night."

"So, it's that easy for you, yes?"

Nooj nodded. "Yes. People put meaning into something that happens everyday. I don't see them doing it for using the bathroom."

Isaaru laughed. "Oh, they do all right, it's just a slightly different meaning." Isaaru's cheeks turned slightly red. Nooj chose to elaborate.

"I just mean that if it's pretty, it's suddenly a big deal, so important, so romantic. People spend hours just staring at it, and then they stare at the stars that have been there long before they have. If the sunset was an ugly thing, no one would make such a big deal out of it."

"Oh, indeed," Isaaru agreed. "Beauty has always been an important aspect of life to many people. Your friend, the white haired one, will be considered very meaningful in the eyes of others."

"I would hope that he's 'meaningful' through his merits rather than his 'beauty'," Nooj answered with a tinge of undisguised bitterness in his voice. "Sure, looks are nice, but they're hardly the end all be all of a person."

"I just mean that people are more apt to forgive him for his faults," Isaaru said. Nooj could swear that the sun reflected in his eyes. "He would probably get gifts and praise."

"And unwanted attention," Nooj snickered. He certainly didn't want that to happen to a good friend, but he knew he was being realistic.

"I'm sure he can ward them off."

"I don't know. He's too polite." Nooj shrugged. He knew Baralai's strength, but he also knew that his friend was shy and not quite as self-assured as Isaaru. Baralai admitted that himself.

"I know the importance of manners," Isaaru replied, still not looking away from the sun. "However, I also know the importance of knowing when to have them and when to push back when someone tries to push you. I have not met him, but I looked at him on my way out and found that not only was he beautiful, he was razor sharp, like a newly made sword."

"His name is Baralai, if you want to know," Nooj stated.

"And the other two?"

"The Al Bhed is Gippal and our recorder is Paine." Nooj said this all like it didn't matter.

"I see that the four of you are close," Isaaru said, looking upward at the clouds that slowly turned into deep orange colors that mixed with a little purple and red. "Surely you must be grateful."

Nooj smiled. "Actually, yes I am."

"Are they what keep you alive?"

"No. I keep me alive." Nooj sighed. "Actually, that's not true." Isaaru still did not turn, but he lowered his head, clearly intent on listening. "Soon after I first met my friends, we were doing battle with fiends, and of them was close to killing me. As always, I was ready to die, but just before the fiend hit me, it fell because Paine saved me."

"Somehow I doubt you were grateful," Isaaru commented.

"I wasn't," Nooj agreed, remembering fondly Paine speaking to him as someone who understood him without making any sort of judgement. "But, I got over it fairly quickly. Would you have gotten over it?"

Finally, Isaaru turned around, "Gotten over what? Someone saving my life? I would not have to be concerned about that because I would be grateful if someone did." He narrowed his eyes. "Do not get any ideas. My Pilgrimage will not end and if it were stopped, I would be far from grateful."

Unfazed, Nooj asked, "So, it would depend, wouldn't it? You'd only be grateful if the person's acts suited you."

"And you're different?"

"No," Nooj looked away at the sunset. "I found people who could relate to me in some way, so it was easy to brush my stay of death aside."

"If you were determined to die, then surely, you would have done so already," Isaaru also looked at the sunset. "Something is holding you back." His voice lowered to a tone barely above a whisper. "What could it be? You could have easily died on the field of battle, yet you haven't."

"Hmph," Nooj shrugged. "Bad luck. What holds you back?"

Isaaru quickly turned. "My Pilgrimage. I will go to Zanarkand, and I will receive the Final Aeon. When Sin is defeated, I will die and become a High Summoner."

"Meaningless..." When Isaaru gasped, his blue eyes wide open, Nooj continued. "You will die and the title would be given to you after your death. What good would that do? I have my titles, and I'm still alive. You? You won't be High anything until your life is taken." He looked right into Isaaru's now glaring eyes. "Tell me, Isaaru, what possible good can come of it?"

"Blasphemer..." Isaaru whispered, his voice almost taken by the wind. "You know what...there would be a Calm, and Spira would begin life anew."

"On the blood of corpses!"

"On the carcass of Sin!"

"While people still grieve for their dead."

Holding the sides of his robes, Isaaru took a single step forward. "As your friends will once you decide to finally take your life."

Baralai would have called that a "touche' ", but Nooj did not. The statement gave him a panging feeling, but he refused to back down or admit any sort hit. Standing his ground, Nooj decided to use the ultimate weapon at his disposal: the little boy.

"At least I won't have to choose which one will die alongside of me."

This time, Isaaru took a step backward, his face his blank, but his gloved hands curled into fists. His chest rose quickly as if wanting to speak, but unable to find his voice among his rapid breaths.

Nooj took a step forward. "Who would you choose?" He asked, almost demanded, but he knew better than to push the Summoner too far.

"Maroda, my younger brother."

Nooj shook his head. "Leaving your son all alone."

This time, Isaaru's hands fell at his sides while his topknot almost fell over his face."Pacce is my youngest brother."

"Whoever he is, he will be all alone, won't he?" Nooj asked.

Closing his eyes, Isaaru answered, "Yes."

"Have you told him this?"

"No."

None of that surprised Nooj as he asked, "What have you told the little boy?"

Despite his head being completely lowered, Isaaru answered, "That I must go on a Pilgrimage throughout Spira to attain all five Aeons. Once I do, I must go to Zanarkand and receive the Final Summon to defeat Sin. After that, I would go somewhere else, and live among the Fayths."

"You never told him that you would die?" This time, Nooj demanded. He had never met Pacce, but he knew that the child could not have been older then ten. Yet, he honestly believed that the boy needed to know the truth of what really happened to Summoners and one of Guardians. Nooj felt appalled when he realized how sheltered Pacce was from the truth and he honestly couldn't believe that Isaaru would do something like that.

"No," Isaaru replied before looking back up at Nooj, his blue eyes glazed with a quiet rage. "But, what would you have me do? No matter what he can do, no matter his abilities, he is still a child."

"He will find out eventually," Nooj said.

Isaaru nodded, "Yes, but I will tell him just before I arrive in Zanarkand. Not sooner."

Perfect. Nooj looked upward. "Oh, you mean you'll tell him at Gagazet? Would that be before or after you become a fiend?"

Isaaru moved closer to Nooj, his fists clenched, blue eyes blazing. "How dare you!"

"Yes, I dare. The same way Paine dared when she saved my life."

"You think you can save my life?" Isaaru spat. "I die for Spira because I choose to! It's not for selfish reasons! Not like you! I consider Pacce, but he cannot know now!"

"When? When would Pacce know? You could easily die before even going near Zanarkand."

Looking sideways, Isaaru replied, "It's possible, but still, my choices are not entirely selfish."

Deciding to go another direction for now, Nooj asked, "Why do you choose to die for Spira?"

Gaping, Isaaru answered, "Because there is no other way."

"Typical of the religious to say that," Nooj smirked, feeling tense.

"I don't have to be religious to say that or do you think that I believe in Yevon because everyone else does?"

"Isn't that how someone becomes religious? Because they're told to be that way? Because they don't dare think any other way?"

Isaaru stood straight up, his face blank once more, "Some do. You're right. Many people choose a certain path because any other way is simply unthinkable. It's not because they honestly believe that the way they've chosen is the best, it's because they don't know the other ways."

"And you do?"

"Yes, actually, I do," Isaaru replied, he lowered his eyes as if to remember. "I was trained to be a Warrior Monk before becoming a Summoner and Magic User. I've looked into the Crusaders and to those who do not believe. I've read about them all, I've witnessed many of them, and I see those who throw their lives away in the face of Sin."

"The only difference between you and them is that your death would produce a temporary result."

"At least it is a result," Isaaru shot back. "I have studied each and every battle the Crusaders fought from the time Mi'ihen formed the group to now, and the only thing that they have accomplished is that they could defeat fiends. No great achievement."

"They're trying to find an alternative to Summoners," Nooj said. "An alternative to a religion that chokes people." Isaaru shook his head, which inflamed the Deathseeker.

"The religion you despise so much is a comfort to many people. It is a way for society to survive in an orderly fashion! Why do you begrudge that? Is it because you believe that Yevon failed you when you lost your limbs?"

Nooj shook his head. "No, I've always despised religion. All religion." Isaaru nodded, clearly understanding what he meant.

"Do you despise me?"

The question made Nooj frown. Why would Isaaru asked something like that? Still, he answered.

"Of course not."

"But, I am a devout Yevonite, remember?" Isaaru asked with narrowed eyes.

"I remember, but I also remember your strength. You say I'm intelligent? So are you. You have knowledge. People may not notice it, but I do. You're not just a regular scholar, are you?" When Isaaru smiled, Nooj realized that he was right. "It's obvious. I can hear between the words. Very few people have studied the ancient religions that are long gone and the same few have studied the Crusaders so closely."

"Yet you cannot grasp the idea that I can believe as strong in Yevon as I do," Isaaru stated, a ghost of a smile on his handsome face.

"I can grasp it. In fact, I can almost see why." Nooj sighed. He could feel his left hip throb a little, but he ignored the pain like he usually did.

"Almost..." Isaaru echoed. He shook his head. "Even now, your hate for religion blinds you."

"I see Yevon for what it truly is--" Nooj began, but suddenly fell silent when Isaaru raised a gloved hand.

"You believe it's evil," Isaaru finished. He looked over at the sunset before looking back at Nooj. "You believe that religion is about control and dominion over other people, yes?" Nooj nodded. "You believe that the religion of Yevon is filled with corruption, yes?" Again, Nooj nodded. "Can you tell me one organization that is any better? Do you think the Crusaders are any better?"

"At least they don't judge people or keep them in the dark with secrets!" Nooj answered, almost feeling his blood boil. "They don't frown on people for living different lives."

"Oh," Isaaru raised his chin. He smiled at the sky and that made Nooj angrier, but he allowed Isaaru to continue. "Well before the Machina Wars, there were religions that were far worse. People died before living under the rule of such religions. People who were deviant were forced into living hells before they were killed anyway. Those sorts of religious organizations were willing to do whatever it took to keep people completely ignorant of better lives and keep them locked in a path that led only to a prison. You think Yevon is so terrible?" Isaaru glared. "Those ancient beliefs were little different than your own!"

"There is no way my ways could be like that!" Nooj answered, indignant at the idea that his code could be anything like that of Yevon or worse.

"If you could, would you outlaw religion?" Isaaru asked.

That was a no-brainer to Nooj, who answered, "Yes."

"That's what makes you little different," Isaaru said.

His blood now boiling, Nooj moved forward. "How does that make me little different?"

"You don't give anyone a choice," Isaaru replied, his hands out to his side. "You cannot just judge a religion based on another one. You cannot just judge an entire group based on the actions of a few." He suddenly chuckled. "You complain about Yevon judging and how his followers frown on others and yet you are doing precisely the same thing."

"That's different! My ways are of logic and reasoning! Your ways are based on blind faith and emotion!"

Isaaru brushed that aside the same way the wind brushed his red hair, "I have faith, of course I do, but my faith came from making my own mind up based on the facts of everything around me. I say there is no other way because there simply isn't. All other ways have done nothing to benefit Spira. You may find the deaths of Summoners unnecessary or even stupid, but it is the only tried and true way. I know that there is much ignorance in this world, and that combined with corruption cause problems, but that does not invalidate the teachings."

"What if the religion is a lie?" Nooj inquired just to see how Isaaru would react.

And react the Summoner did, but not much. He raised his eyebrows. "Elaborate, if you please."

"Suppose Sin was a creation of Yevon himself," Isaaru lips became a thin line, but he otherwise maintained his composure as Nooj continued. "Suppose the way to defeat Sin was all a set-up by him and his daughter, Yunalesca, as a means of gaining power over those who sought to conquer them." Nooj shook his head. "I can't prove any of it, but is it possible that this Spiral of death came from Yevon's own unwillingness accept defeat and Sin is but a symbol of vengeance with respite gained on the bodies of Summoners?"

Nooj honestly expected Isaaru to sputter, to hem and haw the same way others have with simpler questions. He did not expect Isaaru's actual response.

"It's possible."

Those two words had the impact of a punch right in the chest. Plus, the way Isaaru said it. Just so matter-of-factly that Nooj might as well have asked what time it was. Nooj laughed, not out of malice, but shock. Isaaru stood quietly, his hands in the folds of his robes. He too smiled, but it was a rather wry smile as his topknot fell to the side of his head.

"I can't believe you would say that," Nooj finally managed.

"Neither can I," Isaaru replied. "I believe in the rule of Law. I believe that Temple word is Law, but when you asked me that question, I quickly thought of disbelieving your very existence. Then, I realized that it's very possible. It cannot be proven since it would no doubt be covered up, but I accept the possibility."

"What if it were true? Would you still believe then?"

"I would be angered. Ninety-Nine Summoners have died to bring about the Calm. If it were all one man's way of vengeance, then many people, who had nothing to do with war, would have died. There would be lots of confusion, and I don't think people would believe it since their religion is such a large part of who they are. The Yevon religion is a large part of who I am, but it's because I happened to agree with the teachings, not because others have indoctrinated it within me."

"I'm just tired of being seen as a target because I dare to have a mind of my own," Nooj said through near gritted teeth. "I am tired of being seen as a monster because I don't live my life the way someone else wants me to. I have morals, I have ethics, but I have them because I came to the conclusion that they were necessary not because a religion told me to have them. My own ethics are little different than everyone else's and yet I and those like myself are seen as things to be eliminated if they cannot be controlled or changed."

"You're right," Isaaru breathed. "We have much in common, but our paths are different, and they always will be."

"I wish I could prove my theory," Nooj said, lowering his head as he felt defeat overtake him. "But, you'd still believe, wouldn't you?" He wanted that question answered.

Isaaru gave it with a dignity that Nooj envied. "Yes, I would." Nooj wanted to faint, but he would sooner die if he did that. "Judge me as you wish, but I would. Yevon's teachings came from somewhere. His own actions do not invalidate them nor do they change my own code of ethics." Isaaru sighed, his eyes downcast. "In truth, if what you say about Yevon is true, then I cannot criticize him. I am little different, you see.. I can't imagine accepting defeat, and I could never surrender. I too would want some sort of revenge. I too would want the world to pay for my humiliation..."

The Travel Agency's lights created new shadows as the sun completely set. Nooj felt the cool air bite into him, but he held his ground. Isaaru, however, did not fare so well. He felt his arms close to his chest, his heavy robes not enough to ward off the new chill created by the dusk. Nooj realized that the weather wasn't the only reason Isaaru held himself now.

"I had to do this, Isaaru. I had to--"

"I know," Isaaru whispered, walking towards Nooj. Now very close, he said, "Regardless of what the truth may be, I cannot give up my Pilgrimage. I have chosen my path and I cannot walk from it."

"Neither can I," Nooj replied. Both men looked into each other's eyes. "I respect you. I wish all of Spira could be like you."

"I just hope that what you say about Yevon is wrong," Isaaru gasped. "I-it's evil, but I honestly think that if you're right, then Yevon is just another aspect of myself..."

"I told you," Nooj said as he grasped Isaaru's arm. "It can't be proven. Maybe what is said about Sin's origins are true. All I know is that there needs to be an alternative to sacrificing Summoner's every ten years."

"I told you, there is none."

The wind blew through both young men and this time, neither could take it. Nooj could feel his joints screaming for warmth and Isaaru held himself even closer. He wanted more of the Summoner. He wanted to learn more from him and knew that it wasn't going to be done outside of the Travel Agency.

"Do you have a room of your own, away from you brothers?"

Isaaru nodded. "Yes, I do. My brothers' room is next to mine, but I still have one of my own. You needn't worry."

Nooj smiled. "Good. Summoner, come inside with me."


End file.
